The Cold

There's a scene in some X Files episode where Scully rebuts the idea that someone is dying of hypothermia by telling someone "The cold is the only thing keeping him alive." And then she gives instructions to remove all his blood and replace it before treating the hypothermia.

My therapist in my twenties once said something about my husband being a cold but sweet guy. This was in Germany and while living there I dreamed once of a nuclear explosion and an iceberg saving me from the instant death of the blast, but now I needed to figure out how to address the radiation poisoning that was killing me but slowly rather than instantly.

It's fine to take a break for however long you need from "normal" social and emotional stuff. Protecting yourself is more important than performing for the crowd.

However long it takes to actually heal by taking steps like this, it will be faster than the "never" promised by so many other paths.